I have a question and while typing it out, I kind of go all over the place as usual, if you've read my posts. But I'm not going to edit out the useless stuff, maybe someone can relate.
IV coke and crack (+alchohol) are the only things I can think of that really change me when on them. If I say so myself I'm very caring and compassionate, but these two will make me enjoy making other people feel bad, humiliating them and just make me into something I'm not and I absolutely hate it. I also think synthetic cocaine makes me a bit like this, but amphetamines (any of them) and I'm learning
QUALITY natural cocaine are the complete opposite. I've only had cocaine like this a handful of time and every time at first I thought wtf is this shit? Its already powdery and you tell me with a good cutting agent (Placebo, not active) I can make 4 grams of "good" coke. I personally don't cut my drugs unless I see a reason to and I never cut my speed, I'd rather just take less.
A gram of pure coke here costs about 5x what a gram of good paste and usually this "pure" gram just makes me feel like shit yet still crave more of it, but this powdery shit, I tried cutting 1:3 because I actually trust the guy selling it and knowing he had recently been in south america I did it anyway and this stuff was able to do what the amphetamines do for me except better somehow. I'm very used to the side effects of speed and have learned to live with them and most of them stopped bothering me after over a decade and a half of binge-ing pretty hardcore, I wonder what my brain would be like if I had had access to this quality coke always. The first gram got lasted me about 3 days after cutting it and sharing quite a bit with my friends, who like me always thought cocaine was really over rated and never really used it unless as part of a speedball or some other combo.
Is it possible that most of the coke I've tried in my country has been synthesized and not made from leaf at all? The high is so different, one makes me happy and sociable while the other makes me violent even. The stuff looks much more pure than the natural good shit I talked of and usually a simple ammonia cook told me 90%+ (93% at the most I think) and it would be very very potent but made me nauseus and just not good, at best it would make me into some retarded violent douchebag with this fake sense of superiority and a false ego boost that I don't need nor want. I've stopped using drugs in this manner for years, using them to shut out my feelings and problems, instead I only use stuff that I feel is doing something good for me (sometimes a good time is all it is, but thats rare these days as I appreciate being alive and surviving everything I've been through the past 15 years or so.
I'm just wondering, the price of coke alone means I would have to cut and sell it to afford using it and I don't plan on going back to that.