"updated version" of Cooking Crank with Fester [captions]

[SoldadoDeDrogas]

"What would you write if you got to retire tomorrow?"
"Number one, there'd be a new version of my Cooking Crank with Uncle Fester video updated with what materials you can obtain on hardware store shelves now".
"Hmmm... What if this is the new version?...."

* IT'S A NICE DAY IN GREEN BAY AND WE'VE GOT SOME VETERANS COMING OFF THE BENCH FOR THE FIRST TIME ALL SEASON *

1) Fester begins his systhesis of nitroethane with the drying of ethanol from grain alcohol. A volumetric flask is charged with one liter of %95 ethanol insulated with aluminum foil and heated. Methyl Ethyl Ketone is added to entrained water in a positive azeotrope allowing it to be distilled from the ethanol.
* She's distilling! FIRST DOWN! *
2) %93 sulfuric acid is poured into a stoichiometric excess of dry ethanol and gently boiled. Sulfuric acid protonates ethanols oxygen forming an ethyloxonium ion that participates in an Sn2 reaction. The oxonium leases water and the sulfate detects a carbon producing ethyl sulfate but the rapid addition of sulfuric acid and high temperature allows subsequent Sn2 reactions that form diethyl ether which boils from the reaction mix and the probable human carcinogen, diethyl sulfate, a menacing side product recognizable by its wintergreen aroma.
3) Deep red crude ethyl sulfate is removed from the hot plate and poured over ice.
"Alright, now I can start adding my powdered limestone."
4) An unknown quantity of ethyl sulfate is treated with an unmeasured quantity of calcium carbonate, which deprotonates the sulfate group, forming a water soluable salt - calcium ethyl sulfate
5) The mixture is passed through a filter bag to remove excess calcium carbonate.
"I'm tempted to describe the smell as wintergreen."
6) The filtered aqueous calcium ethyl sulfate is treated with an aqueous solution of sodium carbonate forming sodium ethyl sulfate. The cat-ion exchange is visually monitored by the precipitation of insoluable calcium carbonate which settles to the bottom of the bucket.
7) 25 grams of potassium carbonate, an unknown quantity of aqueous sodium ethyl sulfate and 300 grams of sodium nitrate are added to a round bottom flask, followed by a dash of tropical coconut shampoo.
"Acetyl alcohol is the anti-foaming ingredient that I want. Alright, I'll just let that sit on the stove for the time being"
*GREAT PASS!*
8) The mixture is heated to 130c and beging to bubble. Lone pair electrons on sodium nitrites nitrogen attack the electrophilic carbon is an Sn2 reaction forming sodium sulfate and nitroethane, which boils from the reaction mixture.
* After the failure of Festers 'electrolytic oxidation' of toluene into benzaldehyde, Fester opts to distill benzaldehyde from an 'almond baking elulsion' [artificial almond extract].
9) The presumed benzaldehyde distillate is extracted with toluene in a sep funnel and transferred to a round bottom flask. To this is added 100ml of nitroethane and 50ml of ethylene diamine.
10) The flask is heated on the stove and the Henry reaction is left to run overnight.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
11) After sitting in the freezer overnight, a solid precipitate, which is presumed to be phenyl-2-nitro-propene (P2np) is observed at the bottom of the flask.
12) Fester stuffs the flask with steel wool to suspend iron ions, adds hydrochloric acid and heats the mixture in a water bath.
13) The reaction begins with an iron reduction of the alkene producing the nitro alkane, which then undergoes a "net"(?) reaction
14) The nitrate contour is protonated into a nitronic acid and the immediate carbon of the protein. Nitronic acid is subject to nucleophilic attack by water, forming an unstable intermediate that loses oxygen to form the 'nitro-so-phenyl-propanol' ? - Elimination of nitroxyl forms nitrous oxide and p2p, which after base neutralization, is distilled directly from the reaction mix.
* SCORE! *
15) A one liter volumetric flask is packed with aluminum foil using a - LIGNOCELLULOSE TAMPING APPARATUS !
- "Ram rod to jam it in!"
16) The aluminum is amalgamated with an unmeasured quantity of aqueous mercury nitrate.
"Nothing but a baby spoon will do."
17) Unmeasured volumes of isopropanol and nitromethane based fuel are added to the amalgam, the reduction begins immediately and the flask is transferred to a stove top.
18) A hose is used to direct the gaseous methylamine freebase into the flask containing p2p, forming an imine.
- "Methylamine is fun and easy to make. I recommend it as a play time activity for children everywhere."

* GREEN BAY IS NOT REDUCING THAT IMINE ANY TIME SOON.......... *

One imine reduction away from methamphetamine, Fester interrupts his synthesis out of a deeply held respect for federal law.

"If even you, Americas favorite clandestine chemist, defer to the Mexican product, what hope does anybody else have?"

This isn't a recipe or instructions. Don't try to do this. I don't know any portions or amounts for ingredients. However, I am interested in figuring this out for myself and understanding the steps and how this works and so I am presenting this for discussion. This is like a puzzle and we're trying to fit in the missing pieces so we can all go home and do it ourselves. Anybody with anything productive to share, please do.

 

[mycelium]

LIGNOCELLULOSE TAMPING APPARATUS
I had to replay that to remember what he called a stick. I laughed my ass off.
But I like how he made the NitroE. So sloppy but evidently it works, what does fester say about making NE in his books?

 

[pshcrmth]

LIGNOCELLULOSE TAMPING APPARATUS !

sounds like mysterious device straight from Hogwart...

 

[Osmosis Vanderwaal]

I'm guessing a "net" reaction is a Nef reaction. That sure looks like the long road to me. Very convoluted. I can name that tune in under 20 reactions, I think

 

[ruen]

to be honest ive used this as a rough recipe when i started "independently producing pharmaceuticals" (as hamilton calls it in this episode) and succeeded, although not on first try. i needed a lot of persistance to complete it. obviously more research is required than this single video. for the sweaty nerds eager to try this at home, i include some usefull articles bellow.

• https://de.scribd.com/document/292790123/Preparation-of-Sodium-Ethyl-Sulfate
• https://bbgate.com/en/threads/the-simplest-syntheses-of-nitroethane.573/ this was for me the most difficult task, ive failed several times. bellow i include two youtube videos which helped a lot. surely one could buy nitroethane directly as well (ive found at least 3 vendors ), but that would be just as expensive as buying p2np directly, assuming you get the yields described in the literature (and franky since most of us are just a bunch of tweakers with ghetto equipment, we rarely achieve those yields, so in the end even more expensive than buying p2np directly).
• fester distills his benzaldehyde from almond oil, i dont know if its illegal in the usa that he has to do this, but in the magical country of polska one can buy benzaldehyde cheaper than some bitter almond oil, so thats what i did. if these two possibilities are not an option, the simplest route would be oxidation of benzyl alcohol via nitric acid in my opinion. (btw i tried this experiment as well and on that day ive learned about the importance of cooling ones reaction, about NO2 why it is a stupid idea to do this experiment in your living room)
• https://bbgate.com/media/1-phenyl-2-nitropropene-synthesis.69/ fester uses steel wool instead of actual iron, which is in my opinion a brilliant trick
• https://bbgate.com/media/methamphetamine-synthesis-from-p2p-via-al-hg.92/ but with nitromethane instead of methylamine
  • https://www.erowid.org/archive/rhodium/chemistry/alhg-meno2.html
  • https://erowid.org/archive/rhodium/chemistry/ritter-alhg.html

the whole episode is actually great, and i would recommend to watch it for those interested in meth manufacture (although rather as entertainment, not as study refference). it includes a badass mexican chemistry loving duo with gasmasks and an american firefighter cosplayer with his friend that likes to masturbate on meth (reminds me of my favourite painting Tweakers at the motel).

but what i am interested in, and would like to start a discussion about, is

• what routes do the mexican boys follow? their synthesis is not completely disclosed.
• why did the americans synthesis fail? my guess is excess water formed by decomposition of amonium carbonate, but i am no chemist. nevertheless i like his approach to the famous shake and bake method, obviously he thinks outside the box.

lastly, i would like to add, that i do not use the route showed by fester anymore, as it is too long and not even the cheapest, so not really worth it. on the forum there are described many interesting routes to p2p, which are faster and with much better profits, or one could buy a p2p precursor from china directly.

stay sweaty nerds

 

[SoldadoDeDrogas]

With about 4 seconds left on the clock, you came through and clutched April, if not the whole of 2025. Big, big up @ruen. Extra cred on the art. Oh, it is so good.... reminds me of some of my old art.
Thank you for this post. Seriously. This was the answer I (and many others I am sure) was looking for.

The Mexican boys? Obviously some very easy to acquire or make precursor to make P2P. Phenylacetic acid is nagging at me for some reason. Just a guess.
The American boys? Well, our man Heimlich didn't necessarily fail, I don't think. We didn't really get to see what happened after he gassed though. It is too hard to say what exactly went wrong, if anything. He was clearly just tweaked and sloppy. I do like his approach of condensing ammonia cleaning solution rather than liberating the salt (if you can find cold packs for example) into a gas in situ. Someone else had a very interesting post about creating a condenser coil for making liquid ammonia and storing it in a propane tank with certain valve - or something? I would love to see some improv and innovation in this area.

 

[Osmosis Vanderwaal]

I'm guessing a "net" reaction is a Nef reaction. That sure looks like the long road to me. Very convoluted. I can name that tune in under 20 reactions, I think

 

[mycelium]

Yes, I was looking up. Nitro ethane synthesis and I came across one that used sodium ethyl sulfate which was impossible to get. So I looked up making sodium ethyl sulfate and everything that Fester was doing in that video is shit that I've just been reading about. He was just doing it quick and not counting how much shit he was using
"An unmeasured amount, into an unknown quantity...is that an ice cream scoop...." Lmao

 

[Raz]

So this isn't actually "cooking crank with uncle fester", it's Hamilton's Pharmacopeia and there isn't really anything to learn from this video it's just for entertainment. The actual Cooking Crank with Uncle Fester is him sitting at his dining room table for most of the video. It also has some weird graveyard girls in it drinking beer, which I'm assuming was his daughter.
But he's sitting in jail right now on multiple counts and the city is going to bulldoze his house. But the majority of his actual video is just how to get iodine out of iodine tincture. I mean, a much more useful video is on youtube called " nagai synthesis.how to make phenylacetic acid. " and just replace mandelic acid with pseudoephedrine HCl or ephedrine HCl

 

[SoldadoDeDrogas]

You guys with your intellectual pissing matches... it is tiring.

No, it is not actually Cooking Crank with Uncle Fester. Thank you for pointing that out.
I titled it based on what Fester said to Hamilton when asked, "What would you do if you got to retire tomorrow?" if you were paying attention (and we know YOU were!) Fester responds: "Number one, there would be an updated version of my cooking crank video with what items you can use..." and then Hamilton responds "What if this WAS the new version?" And this is what we get....

Also yes, there isn't really anything to learn here. It is just for entertainment. Thanks for letting us know.
+
While I agree slightly, in retrospect, considering what he did was a hypo cook rather than a RP/I2 with OTC shit like most of the people trying this for the first time would inevitably be doing with what was immediately at hand - it isn't very relevant. I am sure at the time, though, this video was pretty useful for people who had no clue where to start - kind of like how BB is to us now, considering it still isn't completely useless. I would recommend all the new bees pass through here eventually on their journey to help get an understanding.

Just know, not any once source is the gospel truth. We all are going to have different variations on our methods and whatever but the point is to understand what is going on and what or why the point of the variation is. If you want to learn RP/I2 cook you don't read one recipe - you read 30 of them and you will be able to get a idea of what you need to do when you go to attempt it for yourself, and then when you do - safely! You will know who is full of shit. You know? Make sure you read the entire recipe first before you start pouring things together and start choking on vigorous plumes of smoke being evolved from what you thought was a string dope recipe on reddit.